Timothy Crawford | The Marketing Mash Up

Dear Cigarettes,

We’ve been together for a long time, 13 years off and on I’d say. It’s been a love – hate relationship. I know, I know…We had some good times. I remember when we first met; my roommate introduced us. I noticed how you were always there for him, especially at stressful times. I was envious. I thought you were the friend I’d been missing. I thought I needed someone with me for the tough times. So, I started getting to know you. The funny thing is I didn’t like you much at first. You gave me a headache. I vowed to never get with you on a permanent basis. So much for that vow, before I knew it you’d won me over. I became a smoker. And it was good….for about 2 seconds.

The way I see it, this relationship is a sucker’s deal. It’s all bad on my end. Oh sure, I pay out the ash for you, but what do I get in return? Nothing! Oh I forgot, I get to age faster, I get yellow teeth, my clothes stink, my lungs clog, my sinuses congest, my wallet’s lighter, my wife complains and my son ask sensitive grown-up questions he shouldn’t have to ask. You aren’t any good for me. So I’ve made a big decision honey. Oh Yes, it’s come to this….

I quit you! Don’t look at me like that. Stay over there. Get your hand off my knee. I’m serious! I mean it. I need to show my son that his dad can kick this stupid habit. I’m tired of smelling like an ashtray. I’m tired of stinking up the house with you, fidgeting on long-drives, having to excuse myself during family-time just to spend time with you. You’re not worth it. It’s disgusting what I’ve let you turn me into. I’m better than that. Besides; some friend you are?!? You’re killing me!

Okay, okay, the last couple of days without you have been a battle, but it’s a battle I’m going to win. I’m in this for the long haul. There will be no taking you back. How do I feel? Baby, I feel good, real good. Smell this shirt. What do you smell? Cologne. Not smoke! See, I feel free and no matter how much you urge and beg I’m never going back to you. You’ve stole enough from me: My Health, My Money and most of all My Time. Good riddance, Butt Head! It’s over. You’re history!

Signed:

Timothy Crawford

A Non-Smoker